Finding Calm in Chaos: How Creativity Helps Me Manage Anxiety

I recently learned that I had been suffering from anxiety since my teens. It was an eye-opener, especially considering what I've been through in the last few years.

I've been on a journey of discovery and learning about my mental health but also about the power of creativity and self-expression. Along the route, I’ve become passionate about promoting mental health awareness because many people don’t say what’s going on in their own head for so many reasons.

What was happening to my mental health

My story is far longer and more complex than this snippet. In Summer of 2021, I was completely overwhelmed with anxiety, though I didn’t recognize it at the time. So much was happening in my life. I describe it as my system going into overload. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and eventually, I just broke. The result was an anxious mess, trapped in my own mind.

During this time, I started to withdraw from my family, hoping no one would notice. I isolated myself, wanting to crawl into a cocoon, shutting out the world so nothing could harm me. I had convinced myself that I had a serious illness, fearing I had some hidden ailment, but I was too frightened to see a doctor. It was a strange paradox: I longed for help but was equally afraid of what I might discover.

My husband insisted that I see a doctor and reluctantly, I agreed to being dragged there. The doctor ran a series of blood tests, checking for anything that might explain my symptoms. The results came back normal. She handed me a month’s supply of benzodiazepines with the casual comment - Because sometimes, sh*t happens. It felt surreal to receive medication without a clearer understanding of what was happening in my mind.

At the time, I didn’t fully grasp that I was grappling with anxiety. I knew my mind was in a dark place, but I kept telling myself I’d get over it soon. I wanted to believe that this was just a phase, something that would pass with time. But as the days turned into weeks and then months, I realized I was stuck in a cycle of anxiety that I didn’t know how to break. It would be another year and a half before I finally spoke out at needing professional help. In the meantime, I had one method that was helping somewhat, even if only for a few hours at a time.

How being creative helped me manage the anxiety

During lockdown, I found solace in painting. I poured my feelings onto the canvas, discovering that the act of creating helped alleviate some of the pressure in my mind. I noticed that the days would fly by while I was lost in my artwork. Each brushstroke felt like a release, a way to express emotions that I struggled to articulate. I was also refreshing my graphic design skills, diving into projects for days on end, completely absorbed in the process. In those moments, I experienced something I later learned was called flow—a state of deep immersion in an activity where time seems to disappear.

It was one of the few moments I felt free from my anxious thoughts, even if just for a little while. But as soon as I stopped, the anxiety would flood back, overwhelming me all over again. I remember feeling frustrated that I could lose myself in creativity yet still be pulled back into that anxious mess once I stepped away.

Reflecting on my experience, I realized I had always turned to creative projects as a coping mechanism, but I didn’t know how to harness its power effectively. I had been creating, painting and designing for many years, yet I had never fully acknowledged how these creative outlets helped me cope with difficult emotions. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon the idea of art therapy that everything began to shift.

 

Creativity and mental health awareness

One day, as I was scrolling through social media, an ad caught my eye: Become a certified art therapy practitioner… The idea intrigued me, and I felt a spark of hope. I started researching art therapy, reading articles and watching videos. I learned that art therapy is not just about creating art; it’s about using the creative process to explore emotions, manage stress, and develop self-awareness. I was captivated by the idea that art could be a therapeutic tool, not just for me but for others as well.

This newfound understanding opened up a world of possibilities. I realized that I could not only use creativity to navigate my own anxiety but also help others do the same. I signed up for a university course in my country, excited to delve deeper into the intersection of art and mental health. The more I learned, the more I began to appreciate the healing power of creativity. I discovered techniques to integrate mindfulness into my artistic practice, allowing me to cultivate a sense of calm and presence.

As I embraced this journey, I began to explore different mediums—painting, drawing, and even experimenting with mixed media. Each medium offered a unique way to express my emotions and process my experiences. I found that creating art became a ritual for me, a safe space where I could confront my fears and anxieties without judgment.

Throughout this process, I also connected with a community of fellow creatives and mental health advocates. Sharing our stories and experiences fostered a sense of belonging, reminding me that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. We supported each other in exploring the complexities of mental health and the importance of self-care. It was empowering to realize that creativity could serve as a bridge to connect us, a way to share our journeys and inspire one another.

I began to integrate these insights into my daily life, making a conscious effort to prioritize creative activities as a means of managing my anxiety. Whether it was painting in my studio or doodling in a sketchbook, I found joy in the process itself, rather than fixating on the outcome. I learned to celebrate the act of creating, allowing myself to be imperfect and messy.

How I am using my creative outlet

Looking back, I’ve come a long way since that dark period in late 2021. It’s been an absolute rollercoaster of a journey that I am still navigating. Anxiety visits me often, sometimes daily and for weeks on end. The creative flow process is only 1 of many tools and strategies I use to navigate those moments. I’ve developed a deeper understanding of myself and the power of creativity to heal and transform. My journey has taught me that it’s okay to seek help, whether through therapy, medication, or creative expression.

The idea behind Jenawave is that it's all about what is in my head. Jena comprises my name Jennifer Hannah and Wave refers to my thoughts and the way I design. A very simple concept for a brain full of thoughts!

In sharing my story, I hope to encourage others who may be struggling with anxiety or mental health challenges. You are not alone, and there is hope for healing. Embrace creativity as a tool for self-discovery and self-care. Explore different forms of expression, whether through art, writing, music, or any medium that resonates with you. Allow yourself the space to create freely, without the pressure of perfection.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of discovery and healing. I look forward to sharing more about my experiences, insights, and the transformative power of creativity in future posts. Together, we can ride the waves of creativity and mental well-being.

Visit my Instagram or Facebook to follow my musings and see new designs as they come out!